2005
Trippy Tales from the Gathering
Good golly, what a weekend! 2003 & 2004 were wicked enchantment, but 2005 knocked us on our asses!! We were so glad to see all of our homies and we spent a well-deserved amount of time enjoying their company. (Whoever said you can't have fun while you work?!?) Some of our 2005 adventures we will share here, but some of them will have to stay in the Forest... There were only 3 of us this year: Colleen, Amy and Steve. Jason, Kendall & Adrian sent lots of Juggalo hugs, but this year's budget didn't allow for them to be with us. Maybe next year.
If you can think of something we forgot (or misplaced), drop us a word
Your 2005 Freaky Face Painters
In the woods, probably doing things we shouldn't be doing (but having a marvelous time!), were your 2005 Face & BodyPainting Crew: Steve Weavel, Amy & Colleen. This pic was taken in the very deep part of the forest, where the three of us spent many nights paying homage to our dear mother. We decided that we wanted a picture of the three of us, but it was so freakin' dark, we didn't want to be blinded by the flash. So, we closed our eyes, aimed the camera the best we could and snapped this pic.
A Gift From The Juggalo Heart
For the third (precious!) year in a row, John's Mom gifted us with a truly unique creation: a hand-knitted Hatchet Man blanket! Our hearts and thanks go out to this very kind and talented lady, and to her son, Juggalo John from Salt Lake, for hauling it 2 thousand miles in his back pack, by bus, just for us! MMFCL to both of you!!
The Carving Tree
The last night of the Gathering found us relaxing for a few minutes at Tyler's camp site. There we were, sitting around a trash fire and enjoying some good company when we noticed that there were markings on the tree next to one of the tents. Upon closer inspection, we discovered that this tree was covered in carvings. Some of the carvings were dated back to the 60's and 70's. We are true tree-huggers and don't believe in doing anything to hurt a tree, we thought this was a cool bit of Crystal Forest History and we wanted to share it with you!
Mr. John's Wild Ride
Saturday night, we gathered our gang and headed deep into the forest. There were the three of us, Mike the Sacramento Crow, Spyke, John, Shawn, Marilyn, and Tyler. We found a nice, high cliff to sit on and we perched there for a long time, just enjoying the view and the company. After about an hour, we decided to go find something else to get into and we started down into the gorge, but we were sighted by a security cart. They approached us and, much to our surprise, they didn't give us a hard time at all. As a matter-of-fact, they took this picture for us! John, being the adorable smart-ass that he is, asked if they would take him for a ride down the steep embankment in their cart, and they agreed! I took a picture of that, but it didn't come out at all. Bummer!
Jay the Magic Cherry Ninja
Jay had magic cherries, and he shared them with all of us! I think he said he had soaked them in everclear for quite some time, and they certainly cleared our throats! Here we have Amy taste-testing the goods with Jay. Thanks, Jay!
- The Calm
Being our third year at the Gathering, we were expecting to dodge Shaggy's golf cart at least once while in the woods at night, but it never happened. In years past, J and Shag were all about being in the forest at night, riding their golf carts like crazy clowns and being an integral part of the magic found in the forest. This year, we barely saw them and we never had to dodge them at all. We wondered where they were, but assumed that their quiet had something to do with "The Calm". Any feedback on this would be much appreciated. We kind of missed jumping out of the way, and we certainly missed the great stories Juggalos had to tell about Shaggy on his governor-less golf cart. Hope they make up for lost time next year!
- The Stealth of a True Ninja
Friday night we were walking through the campground when we ran across Josh. Josh is one of the Psychopathic security guys and he was worn slick. He had been working for very long hours and was tired to the bone. As we stood there talking with him on his golf cart, Amy noticed a Juggalette hanging off the back of his cart. The Juggalette put one finger over her lips and whispered "shhh!" Amy pretended not to see and continued to talk to Josh. We said our good-byes and Josh cruised away... with the Ninja still hanging off of the back. Later in the night, we saw Josh again, but the ninja was no longer hiding behind his cart. We asked him how long it took for him to notice her there. He rolled his eyes and told us the story. The Juggalette had stopped him just before we had seen him the first time and asked for a ride. He told her he couldn't do that and she said that she would hitch a ride anyway and he would never know. Well, she did. He said it took him over a half hour to find her, and the only reason he busted her being there was because he heard her flicking her lighter! Stealthy!
- "You guys don't want to go that way..."
Saturday night, we decided to follow a different path into the forest. We followed the path around the lake as far as it would take us, then we stepped over a log and found that there was a path that went beyond what you could see. As we entered the very dark area, another Juggalo was coming out and he was a little pale. "You guys don't want to go that way..." he said with a shake in his voice. There were 6 of us, so we figured we could take on just about anything we encountered and we ignored his warning. The path went deeper and deeper, with visions of ski masks and chainsaws dancing in our brains. At one point, we looked up to notice that there were suddenly 8 people in our party, rather than the original 6. One of the extras was the same ninja who warned us away, but we never did figure out who the 8th Juggalo was. The path led us on a very cool moon-light stroll through some of the darkest woods we've ever been in and it landed us out into a camp site. The Juggalettes sitting at the camp site were very surprised to see us emerge from the forest and said that we were the first to come out there.
- Another Methodist Welcome
No matter how crappy the law enforcement gets in the areas around the Gathering, the locals really enjoy having us there. We've heard time and again from the people who live in that area what wonderful manners the Juggalos have and what a pleasure it is to host the Gathering. Last year, the Methodist Church put up a special greeting to the Juggalos on their marquee welcoming everyone back. This year, they put that same welcome back on their marquee and it said "Welcome back Juggalos, we love you, and Porridge County Sherrif, too." Tee-hee. There was also a truck stop with a big, flashing sign that said "We have Faygo!" Niceness!
- The River Dance (we got served...!)
What a wet weekend! There were rivers, lakes and ponds everywhere! As we walked throught the campgrounds one night dodging puddles, we came across some trash cans tipped over, completely blocking our pathway. Just as we were starting around them, 2 or 3 Juggalos jumped out, started dancing all up in our faces, and then told us that we had been served! While we stood there, staring dumbly at them, another passerby was served. He danced for them... right into a small lake on the other end of the trash cans, which was their whole point and their punch line!
- Our Favorite Braceville Officer
We stayed at a decent hotel with the rest of the Psychopathic staff, which meant that the security there was really stepped up. While this sounds like a drag, the cops were really cool and very easy to deal with there. One officer was particularly friendly and spent quite a lot of time talking with us. He got us up to speed on some of the local laws. Here's the juice: Don't bring any pipes. Paraphanalia carries a much harsher sentence than getting caught with a sac. Don't get caught drinking and driving (which you should NEVER do anyways!), because they will throw away the key (and they should!). Keep the naughty bits covered in public. They frown on that, too. He said these things vary from town to town and county to county, but that's pretty much the local standard. Now, maybe he was blowing smoke, and maybe he wasn't, but we figured it would be good to share the info as we got it.
- Couches, Faces, Coffee Tables and This Year's Favorite One-liners
Every year, Chappelle seems to find his way into the Crystal Forest via the most excellent one-liners. For the 2003 Gathering, it was Little John and his "Whaaat?!", which was answered by "OK!!" 2004 added "What do 5 fingers say to face?", which was answered by "Smack!". 2005 not only brought Charlie Murphey to the Gathering, but also his Rick James story about the couch. So the one-liner was "F*c# yo couch!" and the response was either "F*c# yo coffee table!" or "F*c# yo face!". Maybe next year we should extend a personal invite to Dave Chappelle to come and join our Gathering. I bet he could relax there without the Comedy Channel down his throat...!
- Free Beer at 305!
While campsite-hopping, we landed with a group who kept having people stop and ask where the free beer was. Afte a while of this, one guys started telling people that they could find free beer at 305. Curious, we asked if there was really free beer. He giggled and said "No. I'm just tired of people asking, so I'm sending them to an empty campsite." It caught on. For the rest of the weekend, we heard many people (especially Shawn!) shout out "Free beer at 305!"
- Special Thanks
There are so many people to thank!
We'd like to start with Rob. He rocks; he raps; he's awesome and so is the rest of his family! We missed his wife, Nancy, this year. She just recently got called back to Iraq. You guys should both know that we love you and our thoughts, prayers, hearts, friendship and gallons of Faygo are with you!
To Mike the Sacramento Crow, Spyke, John, Shawn, Marilyn, and Tyler: You guys are the shiz-nitt and we SO enjoyed being with you! Can't wait for next year!
To Little Ninja and Cyndi: Sorry about missing you Sunday night. Please let's schedule our Morton's List game for next year, Saturday night. Good luck with the music, Randy and congradulations to Cyndi for the awesome graphics career you are about embark upon! You GO girl!
To the California Chick: THANK-YOU for sharing! It was everything you said it was!
We have a triple-whammie thanks to the Canadians: Canadian sugar is awesome! You trained us US citizens properly in the art of vaporization. You were right; Canadians really do have good things to share with the World! Oh, and Steve really enjoyed his trip to Canada, too!
Thanks to Liz. Your apple pie is totally the bomb!
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